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 会馆民俗: 山东潍坊民间婚俗琐谈



山东潍坊民间婚俗琐谈 

作者:郭玉安、魏素梅
 

家庭作为泱泱社会的基本单位,在人类发展与延续、社会的进步、文明的提高起着不可忽视的作用,家庭与家庭的构成而因其血缘关系组成家族,家族的构成和扩展其来源即婚姻。婚姻在漫长的历史长河中步步往理性化、社会化、科学化发展。在发展中由于地域、家族等条件的制约而形成了不同的习惯,从而使不同地区形成各自的婚俗。 
婚姻,又称“嫁娶”,即女婚为嫁,男姻为娶。婚姻构成的重要标志是举行婚礼,在人的一生中是十分重要的大礼,过去作为“终身大事”是有道理的。这阶段的仪式将明确标志一个人进入了建立个体家庭、成家立业,在社会上取得更高层次活动的重要阶段。我国自古以来为婚礼制定的“六礼”,对我国历代婚礼的演变始终起着主导作用,成为封建制度下婚礼的模式,甚至对当代新婚俗仪式也不无影响。“六礼”是婚礼六阶段的不同仪式,即:一纳采,二问名,三纳吉,四纳征,五请期,六亲迎,六礼在婚礼发展中产生了许多因地制宜的变异。本文试就潍坊民间婚俗加以论述。
潍坊市古属齐鲁之邦,旧称“潍县”,是一座历史悠久的文化古城。民风淳厚,城民知礼尚文。千余年来,代代相沿,逐渐形成了其特有的、体现时代气息的风俗习尚。现将清末民初期间,潍坊民间的婚俗简述于下: 
当时的婚姻大多是由“父母之命,媒妁之言”而订立的,青年男女很少有婚姻自主的权力。婚姻的确定,首先要考虑男女两家的社会地位和经济情况,即“门当户对”。还要将男女双方的出生年、月、日、时、天干、地支相配,看是否相克相冲,即合“八字”。人们认为这种合“八字”与婚后夫妻幸福、阖家安宁有很大关系。当地就有根据属相的六大不合婚的说法:“鼠羊一旦休,白马怕青牛,蛇虎如刀锉,猪猴不到头,金鸡怕玉犬,龙兔泪交流。”人们认为这六种属相相克,不可婚配。如双方不克,方可定亲。定亲前要经过请庚、回庚,即双方互换请庚帖与请安帖各一份,并有四色礼物,这是婚姻的首要阶段。 
成婚首先要选定“良辰吉日”,俗称“看日子”。男方请批“八字”先生选出黄道吉日、新人坐床方向及禁忌属相等,以确定迎亲日期,此谓之“看日子”。迎亲三、四日前,男方准备糕点、南果、鲜果、诲味、干菜、鸡鸭等礼物,用六至十六抬食盒分盛,与催妆帖、请安帖一并交予女方,谓之“下催妆”。婚期临近,女方把嫁妆送到男方,谓之“下奁房”。穷人家一般只用红包袱两个,内装单、棉衣数件即可;富裕人家则将衣物、被褥装箱装柜,还有书桌、长桌、炕桌、饭桌、坐椅、方杌等木器,以及瓷器、锡器等成套生活用具,一应俱全,加以装璜、排列,组成隆重的行列,浩浩荡荡抬至男家。更有钱者,田地、房屋、店铺作陪嫁,这就不是一般家庭所为的。 
迎亲前,男方首先将新妇吉日穿戴之衣服、首饰,以及丝绸单、夹、棉衣送交女方,此举谓之“下娶妆”。然后,男方为女方准备上轿扁食(即水饺,潍坊一带称扁食),多为冰糖、白糖、芝麻馅,按女方年龄一岁一对,谓之“送上轿扁食”,喻结婚后,两人甜甜蜜蜜。 
送亲的前一日,女方派人至男方家,与其共同铺设卧房,谓之“铺房”。亦有男方亲族为新人挂帐铺床,谓之“设帐”。 
迎亲前两夜,男方选男青年与新郎伴睡,谓之“押床”。 
结婚举行仪式和洞房的装饰,其家庭条件所限,层次不一,但共同的是贴大红“喜”字,大门、厅门、喜房门、窗、镜等器物皆贴。各门上贴不同词语对联,大门左右贴“青龙、白虎”短联;照壁贴大“喜”字或“天作之合”等语。院内、房内布置的如花似锦,火红热闹,一派喜庆气氛。 
举行仪式的厅堂,内装设富丽堂皇而热烈。中国人向来推崇儒家中庸之道,其家具陈设也体现出来,要求对称而稳重。正面墙上悬巨大的双喜字,两旁对联,四面墙上悬亲友送的贺幛和礼品。壁前置方桌,两旁一边一把太帅倚,桌附新鲜桌衣,上正中摆大瓶,瓶中插三戟,瓶上贴喜字;瓶前摆王供,燃巨大腊烛。桌前放新郎新娘瞌头跪垫;门旁脸盆放五谷杂粮和红枣等物。 
结婚仪式亦十分热闹壮观,娶亲队伍浩浩荡荡。新郎在去迎亲起轿前,首先在父母屋内吃烧饼一对,栗子一至二对,是祝愿新婚夫妇早得贵子、长命百岁。后由家长带领叩拜皂王、祖先、家庙,让神灵、祖先共渡喜庆,保佑新婚夫妇琴瑟合谐。新郎身着迎亲服,清代一般着长袍、马褂,头戴礼帽或六角帽垫;民国改着一般服装,按季节有单、夹、棉之分。中等户多着马褂、长衫、皮鞋等;富者夏季穿绸罗之类,冬季着丝绵皮毛等。服装穿好,由喜夫将红绸二匹披裹新郎肩上,两端扎葫芦结左右下垂,再将镀金红绒喜花分插新郎帽子两旁,该绒花有制作十分精制的,有花、叶、楼台等。届时,鼓乐齐鸣,此日新郎为小登科,称“状元”,县官路遇要绕道而行。迎亲轿需有一少年坐新妇轿中抬至女家,谓之“押轿”。迎亲时,前有仪从,中有中军(吹鼓手),后赘官轿、花轿各一乘。民国时,有执国旗两面、裙子灯八杆、金瓜、金棍、行伞一套、中军一班、四人轿。富裕户添喇叭、号筒各一对、星宿旗二十八支、提灯八杆。如男方添提灯四杆,则女方再添莲子灯十杆。富豪之家再添铜銮仪、锡銮仪各半套、提灯十二至十六杆、文武顶马各一匹,男女轿皆八人抬。 
新婚之日,新娘身着蟒袍、蟒裙、玉带和簪饰,象征富贵。民国以来逐渐改着花衣便服,腰间别一小铜镜,如路遇送表者、嫁娶者,防相冲、防生病、防不生子女。在新妇下轿之前,将“十梃九箸” (十梃系高梁杆十根,九箸系筷子九双)和一对包红纸的砖坯放在门楼顶,意取十停九住,长远之意。并把秤、斗、丝、箩送到新妇怀中抱住,教新妇学习料理家务。此时,吹鼓乐奏起、鞭炮轰鸣,有人向新郎新娘行走处空中扬铜钱,孩提哄抢;后改为撒五色彩纸花。新娘进院进屋时,四女仆各扯新妇罩头幅之一角排穗,由两娶女客扶着,随新郎迈过马鞍,踏着红毡或席子进屋,这可能是古代抢婚习俗的遗留。 
新郎新娘在正厅中举行拜堂仪式。拜堂主要是拜天地,在迎壁墙下的祭桌前,由家长先行跪拜礼,再由家长领着新郎新妇到院中天地桌前焚香奠茶酒,行跪拜礼,为拜天地。再拜父母长辈亲友和互拜。然后,由新郎新娘持结有花的红绸,由新郎索引新娘入洞房。新妇按预定方向坐在床上,喝莲子汤,新郎必须吃黄米糕上的两个栗子,取“连生贵子”之意。一“吉祥人”(上有父母、下有子女命好的妇女)手持装枣、栗、桃、李、桔等物的托盘,唱着《撒帐歌》分给众人。新妇坐床至晚饭前即下床,两脚踏在糕坨上,取“步步登高”之意。女方送合婚酒给男方,二人共喝合婚酒,又称“交杯酒”,即表示新婚夫妇相亲相爱、白头偕老;此酒即古代称之谓“合卺”的变异和简化。就寝前,新郎要对新妇说几句吉利话,如“你给我拿过带子来。”带子即带来子女之意。此时,结婚当日暂告结束。 
此后,还二日、三日、婚后。要经过开脸、回门、回婆家、谢天地、分长幼、男回门、撤帐、入厨、上喜坟、住七还八、住单九双九、住对月、过百日等等,新婚阶段才算结束。 
这一整套男婚女嫁的封建礼仪,在潍城的中上层人家中表现尤为突出。一方面,它反映了人们热爱生活,对美好生活的向往、追求,另一方面,无形中贯穿了一条具有迷信色彩的封建锁链。 

(作者:郭玉安为山东潍坊市博物馆馆长、魏素梅为山东潍坊市博物馆馆员) 
本文发表于《东方龙》1990年4月第6期


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Re: 山东潍坊民间婚俗琐谈 (分数: 1)
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Re: 山东潍坊民间婚俗琐谈 (分数: 1)
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